Four weeks(ish) into 'shelter-in-place', all schools and essential businesses and churches closed down, there is no toilet paper or chicken in grocery stores and I think I may go crazy soon. Truly, my day-to-day hasn't changed much as I'm already staying at home with riser, but the lack of social gatherings and outings with friends and family is starting to wear on me. There are so many unknowns, some people taking it seriously and others not, I'm trying not to be anxious but here we are. Our church family is gathering virtually and I'm recording lessons for my Kindergarten sunday school class. I'm so grateful Brice is able to continue running his business right now as he's considered "essential" (for now) but him working his weekly shift at the hospital does make me anxious. Trying to find the balance between reading the news to be informed but not getting lost in it is hard.
Riser boy turned one year in February and is going on 14 months next week. He destroys anything neat + tidy, he loves to wrestle with his dad, and loves books + his blankie. He's such a joy and watching his personality begin to unfold is so. much. fun. I love being his mom.
About a month ago I was hired for a semi-dream job working in Education remotely through a company that would allow me to work from home directly with teachers/districts training them on educational programs and writing curriculum. I was supposed to start April 1st. Due to the pandemic they implemented a hiring freeze dropping all recent hires, and my job no longer exists, meaning I was let go before I was even able to start. It's humbling, frustrating, confusing, and disappointing. They told me that I'd be the first they called if something opened up, but not to expect anything for quite awhile or even this year.
BUT God is faithful. So, so faithful.
Through the unknowns and frustrating changes to life right now, God is teaching me so much. I'm learning to truly find value, joy, and purpose in my role as a SAHM. This past year has been a huge adjustment in so many ways but so sweet at the same time. When I got hired for my new job and my start date was approaching, I was nervous with how life and our family's routine would change yet again, figuring out childcare made me anxious, and I didn't know how it was going to go. I started to silently mourn the fact that I wouldn't be riser's caretaker 100% of the day every day and realized how much I took for granted staying at home with him. When God closed that door for me this week I was devastated, but also felt Him whispering to me that my job as riser's mom is more valuable than me serving in the education field. Anyone can fill those positions, but only I can fill the position of riser's mom. It's where He has me right now and I know that this short season of staying at home with only one child is just that--short. I'll never get this time back and I want to appreciate these mundane moments.
A few recent mundane, but good, moments:
zoom chats with our potluck group + family
playing outside in the sunshine and hoping it's here to stay
learning new tricks with dad
reading lots and lots of books
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easter 2020
