As of Lately

This school year has been.. something. It's interesting how every year, each group of kids create a different classroom culture. Cultivating a positive classroom culture is something I truly try incredibly hard to do, and some years are easier than others to do so. Just like adults, some kids' personalities mesh so well and others--well--definitely don't. Last year my group genuinely loved being together. They were so positive and kind, and we *rarely* had behavior issues. I know. Those years are one in a million. But I soaked it up while I could. :)

This year's group has been a huge challenge in this area. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat, and I'm trying to focus on the good things, but honestly. It's. Not. Happening. This year isn't just about teaching math and reading and science. It's so much more. Reality is that I spend more time teaching empathy + compassion, explaining how to work out relational problems with our friends instead of giving negative physical/verbal responses, and spend more time consoling a sobbing child and helping them process through their emotions. I know those things are so important, but right now I'm just.. drained. I feel like I'm hardly teaching because I'm managing/correcting behaviors. I cringe at some of the stories my students are coming to school with, knowing some of their realities are ones I cannot imagine. I'm trying to be empathetic. I am. But I've also had to take away so many fun privileges and cancel multiple fun activities because they just cannot handle making good choices when they have any extra freedoms. Then I feel bad for the kids who actually do make good choices consistently and work so hard. I don't like the teacher I am (correction: have to be) this year. I mean, I legitimately cried in front of my students last week out of frustration. Pathetic, I know, but that's what I mean by drained.

Thankfully, my staff is amazing and knows it's a challenging year for me. They've stepped up and helped in ways they were never asked or expected to, and my family has been endlessly listening to me vent and process through my own emotions. I know God is using this year to challenge me and teach me patience, compassion, and empathy as well, but it's tough and most days I'm feeling at a loss.

I stumbled upon Psalm 30 while reading the other day. I've been rereading it and clinging to it's truths.

Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me,

O Lord, be my helper!

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

you have loosed my sackcloth

and clothed me with gladness,

that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.

vs. 10-12

If you could, pray for my students? Pray that they can seek hard after learning true kindness that's not for manipulating purposes. That they would see value in treating others with respect, even if others are different than them or mistreat them. Pray they can treat me with respect, and that they can be intrinsically motivated to do well and work hard. Pray that I can be given endless patience throughout the day, and that God could give me the right words to say when calming a frustrated, angry child who is ready to destruct everything around them. Pray that I can realize that what I'm doing is worth it and important, and that my emotions can stay level when I'm frustrated. Pray that I can have strength and confidence in my teaching ability, and not break down every time someone asks me about my year. Pray that I can see every child through the eyes of Jesus, not through my eyes that see their behaviors. 

Children's Lit Recommendations

Anyone who knows me well knows that it's a life long dream of mine to team up with an incredible illustrator and write/publish a children's book. Any takers? :) Beautiful illustrations and powerful words make children's books more than just for kids.

There have been moments when I've read an incredible book to my class, and they've literally given a standing ovation because they loved the book so much. (it's hilarious, but amazing at the same time) Children's books have brought tears to both my students and my eyes while we read. They can hold powerful messages and themes that are meaningful for all ages, and can help us understand the world around us in creative ways. I'll forever have an obsession with them and plan on regularly sharing my faves. :)

This book teaches readers to have a new outlook on things, and shows that creativity looks different in everyone. It's so charming, and I love the illustrations.

The book says it all. This book is hilarious, punny, and so cute. 

(disclaimer: I know I said I adore illustrations, but this book is so hilarious and will make ANY child, and adult, peel over in laughter. I don't care who you are, you'll laugh.)

Peter Reynolds holds my heart for children's books. He's for sure a favorite classic author/illustrator of mine. Anything by him is fantastic.

I love the message of this book. It goes through thirteen amazing american women who changed our world for the better. It's inspiring to read to young girls to show them that they are capable of great things, no matter the challenges they have and will face.

Without further adieu, my current FAVORITE mini-series. I love Andrea Beaty's books featuring Rosie, Iggy, and Ada. These characters are so fun, and promote creativity and perseverance. They are perfect read alouds to come back to over and over again.