Changes

Brice and I handle change very differently. He embraces it and is constantly thinking of the excitement and possibility that comes with change and looking into the future. I, on the other hand, think longingly back to how things were before and romanticize about how they were 'better' in most mundane ways.

With moving to a new house (granted it's within 20 minutes from our old home) brings a new environment, new neighbors, new house projects, and a new community. I have a different commute to work and now do my grocery shopping in a new location, too. It's pathetic to say, but I never realized how into my life routine I was until it was switched up. I'm more of a creature of habit than I once thought. The grocery store is no longer on the way home from work, so I have to plan ahead much more since it's out of the way. I'm not longer right down the road from the library, the gym, a gas stations, and my favorite coffee shop. I know these are incredibly ridiculous things that aren't really problems, but it's an example of how things are just.. different. Our old home was completely finished, decorated, furnished, and homey. Our new home feels like we're living in the 70s and I feel overwhelmed at all the projects. This place doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel comfortable and just "us". I know decorations and pretty wall colors isn't what makes a house a home, but it sure makes for a more peaceful environment.

I'm grateful and thankful for how God worked this move out, because it happened so fast I am confident we both felt/feel peaceful about it. I know when I get anxious and feel overwhelmed I need to hold onto that. I need to hold onto the why behind our decision and do a better job looking forward and not gazing back. I'm naturally a more pessimistic personality and see all the things that wrong (praise the lord he provided me with a husband who is opposite of me in that area). When I'm feeling pessimistic and complaining about how things aren't like they were and how it's too much change, I feel.. icky. I know it's my selfishness + sin. It just has taken me awhile to realize that.

I'm already feeling refined by God when I sit here and realize how he's already working. Example A of that: It's been so fun to dream with brice about design and renovation ideas. He is so talented in this area and I love seeing him so excited and passionate about making this house a home for us. For me, I use my creativity in terms of teaching and art. For him, he uses his creativity in terms of our house. When I look at it through that lens, I have less anxiety and more excitement because I love to see my husband utilize his talents and passions in a way that serves our family.

All that being said.. We took a walk the other day to explore a trail that's right behind our house and found a pond iced over. It was quiet, refreshing, and peaceful. Just what I needed to slow me down.

What I'm Reading | January

Beartown | Fredrik Backman

Never did I think I would obsessively read a book about hockey, but here I am. I suppose I should say that Beartown isn't about hockey, but about the people who play and live their lives around hockey. I loved the setting of this story: a small town community deep within a forest where everything around it seems to not exist. When I finished this book, it took me awhile to process. I love Backman's writing as it poetically flows from page to page, chapter to chapter, where you're reading and you suddenly realize it's been two hours and you've lost track of time. This novel takes on deep and controversial topics and plays them out in a way that grips the reader and makes you think about what you would do in these situations. I can definitely say this wasn't a predictable novel, and it's one you should for sure pick up on cold day when you feel like escaping. 

From GoodReads:

People say Beartown is finished. A tiny community nestled deep in the forest, it is slowly losing ground to the ever encroaching trees. But down by the lake stands an old ice rink, built generations ago by the working men who founded this town. And in that ice rink is the reason people in Beartown believe tomorrow will be better than today. Their junior ice hockey team is about to compete in the national semi-finals, and they actually have a shot at winning. All the hopes and dreams of this place now rest on the shoulders of a handful of teenage boys.

Being responsible for the hopes of an entire town is a heavy burden, and the semi-final match is the catalyst for a violent act that will leave a young girl traumatized and a town in turmoil. Accusations are made and, like ripples on a pond, they travel through all of Beartown, leaving no resident unaffected.

Beartown explores the hopes that bring a small community together, the secrets that tear it apart, and the courage it takes for an individual to go against the grain. In this story of a small forest town, Fredrik Backman has found the entire world.

5/5 stars

Cabo San Lucas

Over New Years Brice and I spent a week in Cabo with our dear friends Adam + Rhea, and it was such an amazing week away. We moved three days prior to the trip and the weather was below zero with insane wind chill, so the timing of the trip couldn't be better. I was stressing about leaving our new place in shambles and taking a week to relax when I knew there was so much to do/sort/organize/clean. Looking back, these trips are few and far between and the moving boxes will always be there--so I decided to relax and just embrace it. :)