Changes

Brice and I handle change very differently. He embraces it and is constantly thinking of the excitement and possibility that comes with change and looking into the future. I, on the other hand, think longingly back to how things were before and romanticize about how they were 'better' in most mundane ways.

With moving to a new house (granted it's within 20 minutes from our old home) brings a new environment, new neighbors, new house projects, and a new community. I have a different commute to work and now do my grocery shopping in a new location, too. It's pathetic to say, but I never realized how into my life routine I was until it was switched up. I'm more of a creature of habit than I once thought. The grocery store is no longer on the way home from work, so I have to plan ahead much more since it's out of the way. I'm not longer right down the road from the library, the gym, a gas stations, and my favorite coffee shop. I know these are incredibly ridiculous things that aren't really problems, but it's an example of how things are just.. different. Our old home was completely finished, decorated, furnished, and homey. Our new home feels like we're living in the 70s and I feel overwhelmed at all the projects. This place doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel comfortable and just "us". I know decorations and pretty wall colors isn't what makes a house a home, but it sure makes for a more peaceful environment.

I'm grateful and thankful for how God worked this move out, because it happened so fast I am confident we both felt/feel peaceful about it. I know when I get anxious and feel overwhelmed I need to hold onto that. I need to hold onto the why behind our decision and do a better job looking forward and not gazing back. I'm naturally a more pessimistic personality and see all the things that wrong (praise the lord he provided me with a husband who is opposite of me in that area). When I'm feeling pessimistic and complaining about how things aren't like they were and how it's too much change, I feel.. icky. I know it's my selfishness + sin. It just has taken me awhile to realize that.

I'm already feeling refined by God when I sit here and realize how he's already working. Example A of that: It's been so fun to dream with brice about design and renovation ideas. He is so talented in this area and I love seeing him so excited and passionate about making this house a home for us. For me, I use my creativity in terms of teaching and art. For him, he uses his creativity in terms of our house. When I look at it through that lens, I have less anxiety and more excitement because I love to see my husband utilize his talents and passions in a way that serves our family.

All that being said.. We took a walk the other day to explore a trail that's right behind our house and found a pond iced over. It was quiet, refreshing, and peaceful. Just what I needed to slow me down.